Do you really need goals?
Read on for some
surprising benefits!
Big Aims and a Bit of Grit (A Story About Goals)
Is your life a muddle sometimes? Or all the time? Do you feel directionless? Overwhelmed? Bored?
Most everyone has these feelings at least occasionally.
Do you also have goals and dreams that dangle in the back of your mind? Don’t despair!
You may just need a goal system and a little bit of grit to help you with your goals and dreams.
Just ask Mattie Ross.
Table of Contents
Fourteen-year-old Mattie Ross had a goal. Sometime in the 1870s she began a journey through Indian territory in Arkansas to find her father’s killer and bring him to justice, as portrayed in the novel True Grit by William Portis, and in two notable motion pictures of the same name.
Mattie focused like an eagle upon her goal. Why? Because it was a deeply personal quest. Because she valued justice. She would not rest until she found the killer to bring him to trial.
There were stiff challenges along the way, but Mattie persevered. She was a character with true grit and determination. And she didn’t go it alone – she gathered the help and support that the goal required.
Did Mattie Ross achieve her goal? Yes, in a unique way – you will have to read the book or see the movie to find out.
This is surely a dramatic example of goal setting, and Mattie’s quest probably differs quite a bit from any of your aspirations in today’s world, but it serves to point out some important requirements of all goal attainment. This is what you will need upfront to achieve your goals and dreams:
• Focus (Big Aims)
• Determination
• Personal Passion
• Personal values
• Support
• Perseverance (A Little Grit)
True Grit Paperback
(By the way, if you haven’t seen True Grit, the 2010 movie starring Jeff Bridges, Matt Damon and Hailee Steinfeld, I definitely recommend it. I recently saw it for the second time and liked it so much that I may now read the book. The prior 1969 movie version starred John Wayne and Kim Darby. I will probably see that version soon.)
Will Goals and Dreams Help You?
If you need a little assistance working on your goals and dreams, read on. This post will help you to understand your need for goals. The next post in this series will provide you with a way to select your own personal goals. The third post will give you a framework for working on and achieving those goals. But first…
You may wonder why you should even bother to have goals. Maybe you’ve tried to set one or two goals but didn’t get anywhere. Maybe you wrote down some New Year’s resolutions and followed them for awhile but after a few weeks, (pouf!) they were left forgotten by the wayside.
Yes this can be frustrating if you don’t know how to manage your goals and dreams. But first we should ascertain whether your life needs goals at all.
You can understand in a visual way why certain people need to set goals by checking out the next section.
Are You Satisfied with Your Life?
Pursuing goals and dreams helps you grow and gives you life satisfaction. That is one of their benefits. I sketched several graphs which I call the Life Satisfaction Pictographs, shown below.
Each graph portrays an example of an individual’s satisfaction with their life over a time period (not considering any major physical or emotional upheavals).
It also gives a rough idea of how that person is fulfilling his or her hopes and dreams.
I have included a brief description of each life, as shown.
Same old same old
This typical life definitely needs a few goals and dreams to wake it up.
Ups and Downs
Like a seesaw, this life has drama – good and bad times with no real improvement.
Slide
This life obviously has had a downhill year – some new goals will help.
Looking Up
Can this life be for real? No not really. No life is this perfect and improving all the time.
Optimal Realistic Growth
A life that is growing with its goals and dreams. All lives have ups and downs. If you work toward achieving positive goals, the long-term direction will be up.
How would you draw your own life? Or which life line would you choose as closest to your own life over the past year? Even if you are generally happy, goals can improve or enhance any life because:
Life is a journey of growth.
Enjoy Your Journey
When a person stops growing he or she stops living in a sense. Growth comes largely from our experiences, but also from working toward well-thought-out goals.working
Wise Words
If you're bored with life - you don't get up every morning with a burning desire to do things - you don't have enough goals. ---Lou Holtz
5 Qualities of Good Goals and Dreams
A goal is basically an outcome that you want to achieve.
For example:
• To weigh 10 pounds less in 9 months.
• To save $1,000 in 6 months
• To have a total of 12 dates with my significant other over the next year.
• To finish that novel in 2 years
• To run a 5K next fall.
Notice that the above examples
1. Are specific
2. Have a time limit.
3. Are naturally challenging.
4. Are personally motivating.
5. Are in line with your personal values.
The 6 Major Benefits of Goal Setting
1. You Will Have More Adventure
Get out of your regular routine and comfort zone with a new project. Set a challenging goal that you have wanted to work on for a long time, one that will give you a sense of adventure.
For example, learn a new sport, take up a musical instrument, or learn a new language. This will give you an amazing feeling that comes with new possibilities. Even a goal such as setting up a financial budget can be adventurous if you employ a positive mindset.
2. You Will Have More Charisma
Did You Know?
Having focused goals that you are acting on will make you an attractive and magnetic person.
Your eyes will be brighter and your face will shine with optimism. Your posture will improve and your handshake will be firmer.
Just ask any charismatic person that you know. You will find out that he or she is working on specific dreams and plans.
3. You Will Have More Happiness
Studies show that people are happiest when they have a sense of control of their life, which is what focused goals will give you.
For example, a study by John Reich, Ph.D., Arizona State University found this to be true. He says the following:
“Based on clinical interviews and self-report measures I’ve initiated and studied, I believe that happiness is being aware not only of the positive events that occur in your life but also that you yourself are the cause of these events–that you can create them, that you control their occurrence, and that you play a major role in the good things that happen to you. Of course, though to a lesser degree, happiness is also the awareness that you can prevent negative events from happening. This sense of mastery over both the good and bad events in your life contributes to an overall sense of well-being.”
Work on your desired aspirations and you will feel more satisfied. You will also discover that you are open to new amazing opportunities when they cross your path.
Naturally there will be challenges and obstacles to overcome, even a few failures along the way. However, when you keep your eye on your goal you can flip the obstacles and failures into learning experiences that become bonuses for you.
4. You Will Have Less Overwhelm
One of the most amazing benefits of having written goals is that your goals will allow you to focus your time and energy on those things that you value the most. The other events that drag on your time and energy can be guiltlessly put on your back burner.
You will be able to say “no” to people and time-sucking tasks. Just say to them, or to your mirror: “I’m sorry but my plate is full right now. I would love to participate in the future, but right now I have other obligations that I have to focus on.”
If you find that your goals and dreams themselves are becoming overwhelming, then you simply took on too many tasks for your current schedule. Remove the least important goal(s) for a future time period, or scale down one or more of them so they are more manageable.
It is a process of trial and error, give and take, so do not blame yourself or feel failure!
5. You Will Have Less Disappointment
Setting goals really does work, especially if you write them down and break them into steps.
Dr. Gail Matthews, a psychology professor at Dominican University performed a study of 267 participants and found that a significant number were more likely to reach their goals when they put them in writing. Dr. Matthews found that a person was 42% more likely to achieve his/her goals by writing them down regularly.
And this is common sense. When you write down your goals and dreams,
- They become more ‘real’.
- They become ‘reviewable’
- If you go further and use a system for writing the steps involved in working on the goal, also the goal details, motivations, and your deadline, you will have created an effective way to proceed, and you will be able to measure your achievements.
- You will be more likely to follow through on meeting your goals.
So nix goal disappointment. Remember, every step in your quest is a success in itself. Consistent small steps will add up to something great.
6. You Will Have Less Fear of Failure
An effective goal system will help you to overcome your fear of failure. You will realize that failure is part of the process of learning and traveling toward success. With a goal system you can review your motives, consult your supporters, and make adjustments to your plans.
The people with the greatest successes had failures, and ridicule, along the way. Think of Thomas Edison, the Wright Brothers and J.K. Rowling. They didn’t let their many setbacks, or naysayers halt their progress.
Get on the Starting Line to Goal Success
You are on the starting line — before you set goals it is important to have a positive mindset, so:
1. Think about the things you want.
2. Think about your values.
3. Think about your passions — for you must be somewhat passionate about a goal to succeed.
4. Think about what you believe about yourself and about your life right now.
5. Do you hold any negative beliefs about yourself and your world that might hold you back?
Flip those negative beliefs into positive ones.
For example, you may believe that you are not a quick learner. Change that belief to: I learn at a rate and a style that is best for me, and that is how I am meant to achieve my goal.
Now you have cleared the way for positive action and progress.
How to Nurture Your Goals and Dreams
A goal is like a tree that you plant. But after you plant it you cannot just leave it alone and expect it to grow to its best potential.
You must feed it, water it, cultivate the surrounding soil, defend it from pests, and occasionally prune it. That is, nurture your goal with a step-by-step plan, add some focus, determination, perseverance, patience, self-compassion, support, and periodic re-evaluation.
Good Goals are Good Friends
If this sounds like a lot of work, let me assure you that working on goals is not drudgery.
Point to Remember
Your goals and dreams will be wise and gentle friends that will lift you to your best self.
Remember, the joy is in the journey.
Just working toward a goal give you a feeling of energy and fulfillment; it will amazingly boost your self-image, and help you grow, and that is what life is all about.
Its Time to Hit the Goals and Dream Trail
When you take a look at your life you may now see that having goals and dreams can give your life purpose. They can help you to get what you want, get life satisfaction, and can add some amazing benefits like more charisma, happiness and adventure.
• Take some time to think about your dreams, your values and your passions.
• Flip your self-limiting beliefs
• Resolve to add a little grit and determination.
Related Posts:
How to Set Goals in 5 Steps: Explore Your Hidden Dreams
Meeting Goals: A Powerful 5-Step Strategy
