All About Listening Well
Learning the art of listening will enrich your life. It will improve each one of your relationships.
Are you having communication problems in your current relationship? If so could one of the reasons be that you do not listen to what your partner is saying.
You may be in the habit of closing your ears the minute they start complaining about something, or when they talk too long or too slowly.
If you truly want to preserve your relationship and have it last for years to come, become a better listener.
Improve your listening skills with 5 techniques that work well. As you listen more you will find that your relationship becomes more romantic and attentive.
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Remember When
Think back to when you first started dating, isn’t this the kind of atmosphere you would like to recreate? You were eager to find out everything you could about your date, and you made sure you were listening. Bet that sounds familiar!
At some point in most relationships there comes a point when you think you know each other well enough. This is when you may start taking each other for granted. You don’t go out of your way to be romantic, and you really only half listen when they start talking about certain things.
Bring Back the Spark
So if your relationship needs a little spark again, start listening more closely.
Listening also includes paying attention to things like body language, because sometimes words don’t convey true feelings. Remember the saying “actions speak louder than words?”
It isn’t hard to become a better listener. Just make up your mind that you are going to do just this. Then the next time you have a conversation with your partner, summarize what they have said, and repeat it back to them. This will show them that you have actually been paying attention.
Repeating parts of the conversation will also help them identify with what they have just said. If they were trying to explain a certain situation and you misread it, this will become clear to them. It gives them the chance to try and explain things in a different way. This brings up another issue. It may not be that you weren’t listening, it could be that the problem wasn’t explained clearly.
As time goes by our relationships change. This is because we mature and each person changes a bit, so you have to keep listening for new clues about your mate. We also physically change. At some point you may have to deal with health issues. These issues can affect your relationship and you may not be able to do certain activities together anymore. Instead of seeing this as a disadvantage you can look for positive alternatives.
By listening to your partner you will discover these changes without having to be told about them. This will do nothing but improve your relationship together.
The Top Five Skills of a Good Listener
If you want to become a good listener there are certain traits and skills you will need to learn. Listening is a great quality to develop and it can improve all areas of your life. People love to talk and are always looking for someone to listen to them.
1. When listening to someone your goal should be to understand their point of view. Listen to everything they say before forming your own opinion, and remember that you do not necessarily have to agree with them.
Everyone deserves and are entitled to their own opinions on various topics. Try to look at the other person’s point of view and ask yourself if they might be the one who is correct. Be humble and don’t have the attitude that you are always right. It is good for your soul to evaluate all points of view. You can also just agree to disagree and keep the peace.
2. Paying attention is the next trait. If you don’t pay attention you will miss out on important information. Always be aware of what is going on with the person who is speaking, and don’t forget to be thoughtful of his or her background.
Sometimes it can be hard to stay focused on a person, it is normal to want to look away. If you find yourself doing this try nodding to the person or making direct eye contact with them. This signals to them that you are paying attention. If you really need to look away for a second, then muffle a cough behind your hand!
Other tips that you might want to use to show that you are paying attention include:
Saying the person’s name now and again
Using facial expressions
Using body language
The action of making eye contact with the person who is speaking, shows them that you are paying attention. If you start looking around you, you are giving them the impression that you are not interested, or have become bored.
3. Be sure to ask a few questions. This shows that you are listening and that you have genuine concerns. Asking questions will help to clarify the subject matter and will also create a repour between the two of you.
4. Allow the person to finish talking. This often takes a little patience, but it can be helpful for both sides. First the person talking can vent their opinions or frustrations. Secondly it helps the listener to fully understand the issue at hand.
5. A good listener will also think before responding back. Again, they often ask what if this person is correct in their way of thinking. People have the bad trait of speaking before thinking, and this can lead to all kinds of awkward or difficult situations. It is perfectly normal for your brain to want to respond quickly, but stop yourself and think before you speak!
If you make an effort to put these five traits into play consistently, you will become a much better listener for it and your relationships will improve, perhaps dramatically!
